Cooked

You know when you look at it the word "cooked" looks really strange.  Kinda like the word "enough"..
So I cooked last night and enjoyed it.  A lovely simple curry ala Trader Joe's and it tasted really nice.  Mike liked it and complimented it.

On the whole lately, I have been very lackadaisical about cooking more than basic prepatory or simple easy meals.  I depend on Mike to grill and cook and he embraces it and seems to enjoy it although sometimes I realize that he's doing it because if he doesn't, there will just be soup and sandwiches or frozen something which is fine for me most of the time.  I am very grateful for his cooking.  I like being cooked for and my mom was a great cook and I have had a complex relationship with food since childhood.

I have been overweight since puberty and it has always required great focus to lose weight and I generally find it almost impossible to keep it off.

My birthday is in a month, right before Thanksgiving and two weeks ago I set a goal to lose 10 lbs by my birthday.  Last year at this time, I was about 15 lbs lighter than now, having lost 35 lbs slowly over time.  It's been a stressful year with moving and I lost my focus and gained 15 lbs in about 3 months.

I think I've lost 1 or maybe 2 lbs in the last two weeks and will weigh again tomorrow but I have been up and down in my eating and have lacked consistency.  Today, 10 lbs seems like too much to expect in a month so I am affirming that I will continue being focused and pay attention to my food and body and eating.

One of the things that I've noticed this last week is how I eat...I eat on the run, voraciously, wolfing the food down and not savoring or enjoying it fully most of the time.  In other areas of my life, I am slowing down and being more present and realized that I am ready to start doing the same with eating.  I am sure there will be lots to learn and discover.

I started to write about my childhood experiences with my mom, food, cooking, my weight and more and it just is too much for now.

I am simply going to be more mindful, pay attention to what I'm eating, and cook more because food tastes better.

Don't expect this to be about eating.....

So I just impulsively posted the link to this blog on facebook with a tease that I would blog and then realized now is the time to begin.  First, I thought I would find pretty pictures of food to include and I've been through all my pix here and at work and I am not a food stylist nor a food photographer...not one picture.

This picture is the beautiful table that Melanie at Etude created for our pre-harvest party and I took the photo of it.   I briefly assisted in helping them all set it up and felt really awkward which is basically how I've felt about setting tables, formality, and food and it's serving and presentation my whole life.

So this blog is about my relationship with food.  That's all...little tidbits, insights, great and horrible thoughts and realizations about food and other things that go in my mouth like soda, gum, water, and wine.

Here's another picture and then I'll post more later or tomorrow...(wishing I had a great food picture to symbolize all of this but here's the white croc instead)